Hitting the Wall and Some Drama

It has been a lot harder to get back to blogging without having all the extra help around here that both Laurie (and Maya) and Alan provided. Jamie continues to stop by and relieve me a lot in what I have come to dread as the "hit the wall" period between say 4-6. If I did not actually nap (sleep, not rest) during the day, you can pretty much count on my having an urgent need to lay down during this period of time.

For example, this past Saturday. I nearly had a meltdown in Costco. Sofie and I had a nice morning, we made pancakes and she ate four (growth spurt, again?) and then we went to the Museum of Life and Science in the afternoon and met up with our friends Jamie (mom to Emma and Jacob) and Taylin, who is about Sofie's age. Jacob did not join us, so it was "girls afternoon out". They were previewing some of the very cool and colorful dinosaurs that they are building to recreate their "Dinosaur Trail" that was leveled a bunch of years ago by one of the bigger hurricanes....Floyd or something. The kids loved that part, they we went outdoors so they could run off some of the energy they seem to accumulate. Wish I could transfuse some of that!!!

I don't know how parents with more than two kids do it. Keep track of all of them in public places. I could ususally track one or two, but constantly was down one kid. It is a pretty safe space, with many parents all around, but I still worry. It is my nature. Sofie was in a bright colored shirt, so easy to see visually, but she is fast and kind of sneaky. So I kept losing track of her or one of the other girls. Fortunately, there were two moms there, so I was not alone in my need to keep visual contact, at least some of the time. But for those families with three (or more) kids under 6, they must feel like they are losing their minds sometimes.

It was one of those lovely not quite spring days, cool but sunny, and just great for the kids to run around. And they did, also taking time for a snack break, a train ride and time to build with the Kapla blocks inside the Museum as well. They kept up this pace for a full three hours, before the moms decided to call it a day.

I needed gas and only three items, so we headed to Costco. It was about 3:30 when we got there, and I got and paid for the items pretty quickly. I could feel that wall approaching, so I was trying to herd Sofie out of there, when she pointed out we had not had a hot dog. "Mom, that is the best part of coming to Costco", she stated with emphasis. "And I am starving" (just in case the first argument did not get to me). So we stopped, had the hot dog and while she was eating it, I remembered I was *also* supposed to get more kid bathing suits (cheap, sturdy enough for her to use all summer and they go fast), and the weekend roasted chicken. So we headed back into Costco after the hot dog was consumed (a half hour process, my daughter is a dawdler). Then she insisted in picking the colors of the bathing suits, when I had intended to simply duplicate the two already purchased a week ago.

At some point, Jamie called me and I remember telling her I was having a meltdown and had to get out of Costco before I could even talk to her. We hurried to check out, got the stuff in the car and I headed home. She was already there, and took over while I collapsed on the bed for an hour and half.

That tag-teaming thing works well. Then, once recovered, I was able to get up, get Sofie bathed and hair washed and fed and finally to sleep.

Weekend are a little tough, energetically, if I attempt to do them without a planned break where someone has Sofie for a play date. This was underscored on Sunday, a damp, coldish day with lots of on and off again rain. After ERUUF, we had a visit from my work colleague Kate and then realized it was too late for the Chinese restaurant I had promised for lunch. A minor meltdown later (hers this time), she was satisfied with soup and grilled cheese sandwiches we made together.

Then one video later, we went to go to Betty's 50th Birthday Celebration at her home. I thought we would be there for less than an hour, get the Chinese food and be home before bedtime. But they have a hot tub and Miss Sofie is a big fan, so that took about 45 minutes, so in fact, we ended up being among the last to leave! Too late for the Chinese restaurant again (it was open, but it was too late for her, bedtime-wise). I will share just a bit of the drama that ensued:

"Debra, it is all your fault" (she calls me Debra when she is pissed off).
"You lied to me"
"Pleeeeeeeeese can't we go?"
"Debra you made me sad"
(refusal to get into the car during this discussion).
Jamie finally got her into my car.

The begging and whining continues:

"Mom, there it is (as we turned and passed the restaurant), it is open. STOP!!!!!"
(me) "Sofie it is too late to have dinner at the restaurant, we will do it another time"
"Debra, you are a liar and a promise breaker...and I am going to tell everyone in my school, all my friends *and* my teachers tomorrow that you lie".
(me) "Sofie, I am not going to talk about this anymore, I made the decision and I am the parent" (OK, a lame argument, but all I had to go on)
Stony silence in the car. Then she begins to make some sort of annoying popping noise, all the way home. I resist the temptation to tell her to stop. Score points for my team.

We arrive home:

(me) "Get into your pajamas and I will make some pasta, your favorite kind" (which is currently chicken fettuccine Alfredo, which I can make in 15 minutes flat).
"I am not talking to you....ever!!!!" Door slams to her room.
(me) "You have ten minutes to put on pajamas, I will set the timer"
(me) checking in at about 8 minutes, she has not even started to undress.
(me) "Sofie, if you are not in your pajamas when dinner is ready you will go to bed without dinner tonight. I mean it". (you have to follow through with threats and I would have).
[door to her room opens]. With dramatic flair, she opens her pajama drawer, starts flinging her sleepwear all over her room, finally making a choice and getting into the pj's.
(me, trying to be calm). "great, now dinner is ready, come eat"
Poor baby. She is so tired at this point, she eats only half of what I made her and then asks for dessert. I remind her that she ate a huge piece of birthday cake already. She stomps into the bathroom and takes about 15 minutes to brush her teeth.

Finally, just before ten PM, she is down in bed, asleep. She still looks like an angel when sleeping, despite the snoring.

And I wonder why I get tired?

It was Oscar Night, a night that only 7 years ago, found me dressed up and having a blast at the Academy of Friends annual Gala, mingling with friends, eating gourmet treats and dancing until my feet hurt. Tonight, I was DVR-ing the whole show and I finally began watching at about 10:15. I skipped through almost all the speeches. The show must have run over, because it shut off when Melissa got the Oscar for best song. (good for her!). I loved that she kissed her wife Tammy in full view of the camera. The Hollywood crowd is way too cool to look shocked. And Mel Gibson did not seem to be in the house, thank goodness.

And the funny part is, I did not miss the party, the shoes or even the food at all. I was happy with my decaf tea and a piece of toast.

Life sure changes.