Baby Steps

Today, I awoke and wasn't immediately hacking. A good sign! I got up, did a bit of coughing, and then self medicated with the non narcotic drugs. I look for steps forward every day.

I was able to get the breakfast out, the lunch made and the kid up and dressed without being a mean Mom, a good improvement from yesterday.

I keep looking for signs that I am ready to perhaps go back to work soon. They simply aren't there. To the contrary, I usually have to go lay down after a couple of hours in the AM (today Alan and I ventured to Morehead Montessori to be "lunch parents" which they ask for on the Third Thursdays of each month, so the teachers can eat in peace. It was on one hand lovely to be greeted by the ever-enthusiastic Sofie who jumped up and hugged Alan upon arrival. But also a bit disturbing to see how these little kids eat. Today's cafeteria choice was grilled cheese, tater tots, a cookie and milk. And some kind of tiny cup with vegetables in in that was pretty much being ignored by all the kids. It turned out to be veggie soup. A nod to nutrition (what is with the need for tater tots with a grilled cheese?) but only nutritious if they consume it. Most kids began by eating the tater tots, doused in ketchup (which as we all recall, can be counted as a vegetable). Then the cookie. Then on to figuring out how to eat some of the grilled cheese. Some ate the middle only. Some removed the crusts (and about half the sandwich), a couple didn't bother at all and simply didn't pick it up.

Sofie actually did well, I plan her take to school lunches with her tummy size in mind. She eats a half a sandwich, never a whole, so that worked (just spread more peanut butter on the one piece of bread), oranges, and oreos. Never mind the order in which they were consumed, they got eaten. She had not gotten her milk, so I made her do it. First of all, how can you even eat peanut butter without milk to wash it down? And second, she needs the milk calories.

She was delighted we were there. And to make the day better, she was a "car rider" (this is what they call the kids who actually depart school when it is over at 3:10 PM). I got her and took her for a hot chocolate at Starbucks (since Alan was having a phone meeting at 3-4). We returned and they have gone off to Gold's Gym for an adventure. Alan is being a trouper, he has "the cold" too, but is doing Sofie duty with great and endearing charm.

Sofie is totally in love with him, she positively glows when he walks in the room. I like watching that.

It has also been good to have Alan around to talk to. These are troubling times and I need people I am really close to to have "those kind of conversations". I am not ready to head to a therapist, I don't think that is it, it is more talking out loud about the things that are so scary.

OK, I am supposed to be resting right now, so back to bed I go.