It Was a Dark and Rainy Night

How did it get to be Friday already? Time flies when you have chemo two weeks in a row and lots of drugs to balance out to keep rashes at bay and also try to avoid nausea and get some sleep!

Jamie wasn't feeling all that great today either, but she had promised Sofie that tonight she could stay at the condo. Sofie has been asking a lot to do that, she is over staying here "all the time" and wants access to her video games and just the change from me. So Jamie, feeling a bit queasy today, got her from school and is taking her to her house for the evening. We will pick up again for ice skating lessons mid-day tomorrow, going to the Sportsplex for that.

I haven't set up any play dates for tomorrow, bummer....I should try. It helps her energy and also helps me, to have daytime resting periods as needed and time to actually "do" stuff, albeit not anything monumental.

This second treatment went pretty well, as far as I can tell. Nothing big, just occasional surprise nausea and vomiting moments (as in this AM, prior to breakfast). Not even real vomiting, just kind of a heaving and a bit of nasty stuff coming up. And then it is over.

I am still on steroids and they seem to be keeping the rash controlled....unfortunately, they also keep me up at night until 1 AM sometimes, despite meditation, trying to go into trance (self hypnosis) and all sorts of relaxing efforts. Even putting on Law and Order: SVU which usually lulls me right to sleep, did not work the past two nights. So I woke up today, still tired, and of course, the dark rainy day did not help.

I am missing my girlfriends, a lot. It was fun to have Brenda and Pam here and I miss just the chat and the hanging out with them. I am doing pretty well this week and hope to do even better next week, perhaps even venturing back to the office for a few hours mid-week. But the companionship was great. I am just feeling a bit blue today, overall, due to the change in the weather from the great sunny in the low 80's we had all week to this under 50 wetness. I was about to get the winter jackets "winterized" to put them in storage. I guess I can hold off a bit more, perhaps a week or two. But by April they seem too dark and woolly for this climate.

Durham in Spring is so delightful. I wish that weather would last for months, into the summer when it gets disgustingly hot and humid! The evenings are warm and not humid, and the days are just delicious.

On Wednesday this week, after my last class in the self-hypnosis techniques (offered free or by donation to cancer patients), I knew I still had the babysitter for one more hour, so I went to Whole Foods with one of the lovely gift cards my wonderful supporters made possible and I indulged in a full tray of sushi. It is not quite the same as going "out for sushi" to a restaurant, but they do a great job. I just sat there, slowly eating and enjoying the peace and quiet and not having to share it with Sofie! I am so thrilled she is eating and liking sushi (tuna and salmon rolls, mostly) but it is nice, now and again, to just enjoy it myself. I was a good mom and saved all the salmon sushi rolls. I packed them in her lunchbox the next day, along with a little packet of soy (the reason, I believe, that she likes it so much, she loves the soy sauce!). How very "Breakfast Club" of me, sending my 6.5 year old to school with a container of sushi. But she was thrilled.

Mostly I am writing just to say that I made it through cycle one of this new treatment pretty well. Next week is the "off week" and that is great, I only have to go in for labs. And I have a massage which I am sooooo looking forward to.

Then, lather, rinse, repeat, for an anticipated five more times, assuming this magic combination of drugs does the trick.

I am hoping very much that my hair stays put. It might thin or fall out again, I hope not. I want to just be "with hair" for now, I am so liking it.

So hang in there with me, all of you, and more will be reported soon. For now, my big plan for tonight is to run a hot bath for the first time this year and light a few candles and just soak until I prune up. That is a simple thing, but something I have missed. The idea of it is pure luxury.