Sunday, November 11, 2007

Turning the Corner?

So the last few days have been better, on all the testy body issues. I am still on the anti-nausea drugs and take the pain killers in the afternoon and evening, but things don't feel so bad. I have been able to eat a few bites here and there, and that seems to make things more "normal". Interestingly, I don't much care what I eat, I still don't have interest in food, but I get stuff down, trying to infuse protein into the mix.

We had a good day yesterday, going to an evening play date with Emma and Jacob and ending up with a movie and art projects. We did not get home until a bit after ten. Sofie was up bright and early this am, before 7, as I was sitting quietly, drinking a cup of tea and enjoying the peace and quiet. We worked a bit on the unfinished art thing, a Dalmatian dog and got it pretty much done. She is playing quietly in her room now, waiting for me to make her get ready to go to ERUUF. She still resists every week.

I am gently reminding myself that these little successful days or moments are good things and that they mean I am not permanently bed bound. My biggest fear right now is the acceleration of the illness and becoming too disabled before I get some of the fun stuff on my list done. Not ready yet!!!! And I have lots of pragmatic stuff incomplete too, although we are working on it.

I continue to give items away and enjoy that. Tomorrow I am going to my workplace for about four hours, to do some must do items (pass along passwords, put out of office messages on the phone and such) and to celebrate Thanksgiving with my work colleagues. It is a bit early for sure, but we do this every year and this was the only day we could reserve the large room needed for it. Nearly everyone comes.

I sent out an email to my colleagues last week that told them I was not coming back. It was tough to write but I know I needed and wanted to do it. I look forward to seeing them tomorrow and over the next few months as I visit the Library and spend a little time there (but not "working"). I am officially on medical leave now, as of November 1st and that is giving me some psychological pause to stop feeling so guilty for not being there. It wasn't according to the master plan, but my body told me what to do and I followed through. Evidently it seems to trump my planner self most times these days.

I hope that I continue to feel better into the next weeks and for Thanksgiving, as we are headed to Chicago area to see my brother and his family. The cousins haven't been together for two years, and that is way too long for kids. So I am excited. I will have to pace myself, nap, etc, but that should be fine.

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